Wasted Days

Beware, observational rant ahead. Enter at your own risk. There will be no Q&A 

On Friday March 13, 2020 I arrived back in Canada having been out in the world, working and traveling, for about 2 years. Today, November 3, 2021 marks day 600 of my Canadian Exile. It was time to head back and regroup, and thanks to the emerging madness of COVID, it was an easy choice to make. I always know what to expect when I return to Canada and particularly Niagara Falls. As much as a twinge of excitement accompanies "wheels down" at Pearson Airport, the mundane reality of the world I am reentering takes no time is establishing a foothold into my personal global perspectives. 

We have dovetailed into a zombie cultured social media world where the need for the endomorphic rush seems to have replaced breathing, let alone logic and common sense. This is the new norm and it is not going away even if it is not based in reality. Jordan Peterson said, "You can not twist the fabric of reality without it snapping back. You never get away with anything". I think society does not have the ability to live a truthful life and social media and the main stream media supports the hubris that becomes our twisted fabric of reality. I think about this on a daily basis. Have I emitted arrogance instead of humility in my non acceptance of herd mentality. Maybe both. My reality is that this all bears fruit at my frustration to be back at ground zero, thus finding my self going through the same stagnant and life sucking routines that I had strived to break free from.

What I will not so is float like an autumn leaf into the darkness of an abyss and drone on about the negativity of the past 600 days. There are some incredible positives that have evolved and my eyes, once hazed with the re-emergence of the past, have again become clear with the future. 

I came back to  Canada as COVID 19 was starting to do it's global thing and I figured Canada and Niagara Falls was as good a place to ride this out as any. I was in my home town, I had the safety and security of my house and I had people around me that I had history with. So what happened? We flattened the curve which became lockdowns and what I believe was the growing criminal abuses of society. I took a few jobs including selling insurance of all things. I bought a truck as even though I had vowed never to own a vehicle again. I was just riding the COVID wave. 

The world has gone insane and I believe it has not reached its apex. Greed, poverty, agenda driven media, political irresponsibility without remorse, pollution and plastic, more frequent and worse floods, fires and storms, war, revolution, mass human migration and crime are all wrapped in a warm blanket of ignorance and entitlement. Rising taxes and rising prices for all commodities have started to become unmanageable for many. The cost for fuel to heat our home and run our cars is met with a "shrug" and "nothing we can do about it". Companies making billions and not paying employees a livable wage thus creating a modern slavery culture. I have seen camping tents appearing along trails and in bushland because housing is unaffordable and the immediate response is, "look at those lazy people". We then turn to our phones hoping for likes and comments to produce enough of an endomorphic buzz to forget about really dealing with the reality. 

Dom Hélder Câmara said “When I give food to the poor, they call me a saint. When I ask why the poor have no food, they call me a communist.”  Think about that the next time you see someone living in a tent, hidden in the bush alongside your well manicured walking trail.

I can not say that I have tried my best. Ultimately Covid and societal attitudes has created a tragic general malaise that I became a part of. Observing so many people evolving into gargoyles of what they once were has horrified me. The obsession about money, ignoring time or the longing for a lost youth that has suddenly disappeared and dripping of melancholy like icicles during a spring thaw.

So here I sit, searching for inspiration as I move forward. A Springsteen and Mellencamp duet will do just fine. I am forever reminded that everything happens for a reason, and I believe it to be monumentally true. However, if you allow assumptions to continue to overshadow possibility then hit the snooze button and go back to sleep. Personally, I am getting back in my lane, back to where I belong.