Medellin is the popular new kid on the gringo trail. It is quickly emerging from it's violent date with history with vim, vigor and a whole ton of attitude. Modern and well connected for digital nomads, you will find it is top heavy in praise and encouragement to excite travelers to embrace the new Colombia. However there is still a very dark side that exists but it can be pushed a bit to the side and ignored for gringo dollars. Areas of the country are "off limits" and areas of Medellin are considered to dangerous to wander into, especially at night. Poverty, homelessness and drug addiction are a few of the many social injustices that thrive here. New wide eyed travelers present a gold mine of opportunity with their clueless cellphone use and absolute obtuse thought processes that they are untouchable. Addiction to mobile devices and social media will do that to a person. Mexico was fun and easy because I was comfortable there. Now it is time to put my spidey sense on full alert and dive into the mystique that is Colombia.
The Coco Bamboo is in the heart of Poblano, the main tourist district of Medellin. I checked in easy enough, tossed my rucksack into my room and out the door I went. I immediately came across a BBC (Bogota Brewing Company), a Brew Pub that was blaring ACDC. Exit, stage right, for a quick pint to set myself sort of calmed down sorted out. The entire area was busy revving up for New Years Eve. I drained the pint rather quickly because I was hungry and there were lots of exploring to do before the madness was going to start. A 10 minute wander I came across another BBC on a more main street that had clear TVs playing football and looked jammed with expats so it was stop number 2. Are you noticing a new country pattern? This time I hung around for a few hours as there were a lots of people to talk to and I was in freaking Medellin and this was a decent way to start climatizing.
I was feeling light on my feet, so I said good by to BBC #2, it was now or never for food. Everything was jammed and I was muttering to myself why I did not just eat at the BBC? I fit right in and nobody paid any attention to me. I spied a shop that was serving up tacos, donairs and falafels and with a belly full of beer and a happy attitude it seemed like a home run to me. There was a free table on the patio, which was plastic with plastic chairs, so this would do just fine. I ordered a donair to eat there and falafel to take away and was casually asked if I would like my combo with Pepsi or Beer. I settled in and happily watched the kaleidoscope of life in front of me. Little did I know that my night was about to take an interesting, if not sinister turn.
Do you know when you see someone who is not to be fucked with and you instantly know it? I was sipping my beer and taking the steps toward me was in a tall, bald, very big dude in a light power blue sports coat. His head was shiny bald, like he took the time to make it gleam in evening lights. Into the restaurant he walks and all I thought was "Dorothy, you are not in Kansas anymore." Do I listen to myself? Of course not.
Mr. Powder Blue Blazer returned to the patio with a beer in hand, looking for a place to sit. I had three extra seat and when he looked my way I nodded, looked at the chairs around me and I invited him to sit at my table. He thanked me and took a seat and I just held on for the ride. Sadly, or not, I was not going to be in a part in a scene from Nacro as our "suspected hitman" was a German guy who had recently moved to Colombia for "business". He said he spent a long time living in Cyprus but it started to become "like Germany" with it's gossip and nothing could be a secret anymore. No, I never asked what his business was or anything about "gossip and secrets". He was friendly enough and I offered to buy him another beer, mostly to secure my own personal safety.
What I thought was a Middle Eastern waiter turned out to be the owner suddenly appeared, pulled up a seat and started talking to Mr. Powder Blue Blazer, in German! So now I have a German "businessman" talking to a Colombian "waiter" in German while I am stuffing my face with a delicious donair. The weird part has not even happened yet. I hear a loud "Hey my brother" and up walks a new middle eastern dude, short but build like a brick wall. He embraces the owner, who stood up, looks at me and then starts talking to the German guy in Turkish, and off the three of them go talking emotionally in a mixture of German, Turkish, and English in a Spanish speaking country.
I think I might have had this experience once while high on edibles but none the less. The Turk is all wound up and sits down so I was all in now and this was excellent theatre. He starts telling us about how he just had trouble at his apartment. I will paraphrase his story.
He was in his apartment when he heard noise outside his patio door. He opened the blinds to see 2 guys on his balcony and he recognized them as street guys from the area. There are quite a few beggars and and drug addicts in and around Poblado that work their way into the tourist area as the evening turns to night. Anyways, they had begun to pry open his window and he said he jumped them and pulled the first one in and threw him to the floor. The second he "pushed off the third balcony" and "I think he might be dead, I did not look". He then proceed to say he started fighting with this guy who then pulled out a knife. The knife broke (I did not ask) and he got the sharp part and "stabbed the robber in the foot". I told him I am now going to call the police and the robber screamed "No, don't".
** This being the cash cow Poblado the police presence is huge and they have NO tolerance for street crime against tourists.
Now the Turk says the robber jumped out the window and onto the balcony so I followed and pushed him off. "I think we might be dead as well". I live on the third floor so yes, I think they are both dead. The German, listening intently asked, "when did this happen" and the reply was an eager "just now, so I came for a beer". I had to process the statement "I just tossed two guys off my third floor balcony and I think they might be dead, so I came here for a beer."
Then it was suggested by the German that they go look to see if they were indeed dead, and both of them gave me a "do you want to come with us" glance. I showed no eagerness so they just got up and left, walking casually into the evolving madness of a Medellin New Years Eve to see if the Turk had actually killed two guys by throwing them off a third story balcony. The restaurant owner sat beside me and out of the blue asked me, "you're Canadian right?" I nodded as I drained my beer and without a beat he said, I have about $3000 Canadian that I can not use here, do you want to buy it from me?
I told him that I did not want to carry all that cash as I travelled around Colombia. It seemed to end our evenings friendship and he got up and walked back into the restaurant. I paid my bill and went back to the BBC sports bar which I now figured was my safe zone, where the only thing being killed was the clock in the Cotton Bowl game between Alabama and Cincinnati.
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