A Tale of Two Beer Tours

Let me tell you a little story of a young lad who went on two discovery beer tours that were very different from each other in a country that consumes the most beer per person in the world. The first was at an old school brewery that was founded in 1839, while the second was in the heart of a tourist district that opening in 2023. Each was interesting and fun but you should always make sure you know what you are getting yourself into but in the end result were the same. The first one required a mad dash to catch a train back to the city, and the second ended with an hour walk home on the constant lookout for a place to pee. 

A Tale of Two Beer Tours. “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness,

The town of Pilsen was an easy one hour train trip from the organized chaos that is the main Prague Train Station. Clean, bright and modern with large digital readout out screens of departures and arrivals make it very easy to figure out, where you are going. I think they were in English as well, I honestly don't remember. I had a train number, a destination and a time, language did not really matter, I just needed a track number. 

A short side story.
When I arrived in Europe I discovered that I had a $20 winning Lotto Max ticket residing in my wallet. I am fairly sure I will not make it back to Canada in time to cash it, so my plan was to find the first decent person I found and give it to them. My intention was to create a cool travel story for someone about some random guy giving them a winning Lottery ticket. The second part of the plan would be to have that person buy more tickets with the winning and if they were big winners they would contact me and we would split it. The chances of that happening are obsolete but I wanted to trust the honesty of the moment.
Now as I was going to my track number I walked past three people that were talking, a older dude and a teen girl and her mother. I heard them say, "it is nice to meet another Canadian" so I stopped cartoon style. I said "hello, I am from Canada, are either of you from Ontario?" The guy said he was and I replied "listen, I don't want anything for this", as I pulled the ticket from my wallet and explained my dilemma about not being able to cash it. Oddly enough, he was just from up the highway in Stoney Creek. We laughed and he took my email address and agreed, that is we win big he will contact me. I will let the universe decide if that will happen. It would have been a great photo moment but I had to get my train as these European conductor wait for no man. We said our goodbyes and good-lucks and now this guy, and I did not even get his name has that story of a random guy from Niagara Falls, giving him a winning Lotto Max ticket in the Prague train station.

I found my seat, said hello to the five others in our little train cubicle as you do, put in my earbuds and settled in for the journey to Pilsen, home of the Pilsen Brewery that crafted the original Lager beer. 

"In 1842, the Bavarian brewmaster Josef Groll arrived in Pilsen, where he received a simple task. Brew a high-quality, tasty beer. Groll got to work, and on the 5th of October 1842, the first batch of Pilsen lager saw the light of day." - Wiki

My Drinking Buddy for the Day, John Marshall

Pilsen is a small town and the brewery was a ten minute walk from the train station. I had about an hour before my scheduled "English tour" was to start so I stopped and grabbed a kabob which was huge. I ate half and wrapped the other half and jammed it into my jacket pocket my pocket for the train ride home, knowing what was in store for me.  When I arrived at the brewery I asked a few people to take some photos for me at the front gate and I did the same in return. Once inside there was a sign I wanted a photo of and a dude walked into the area and he took my photo when I asked him. We chatted a bit before the tour and was an American just touring around Europe. He did not talk politics and it became obvious that I had found my drinking buddy for the next couple of hours.

The tour itself was impressive as was the Brewery. We walked through the plant taking in every aspect of both the history and production of their products, the most famous being Pilsner Urquell. I am not going to give you the details of the tour, but it was fun, interesting and in the end there was the tastings, ah yes the tasting. This dude, who looked like he had been in the underground brew vault since 1842 and really could have used a bit of sun poured me a fresh and unpasteurized glass of lager directly from the keg. Needless to say it was glorious.

Directly from the Keg

Directly into my belly

Oddly enough, there is only two other places in the world the sell this pilsner unpasteurized and one was about a 10 minute walk from the Brewery. The other is in a pub in a small village near Pilsen that somehow, through the years had retained some type of rights to it. Good for them. We headed to the pub immediately after the tour and we could not get there fast enough. I had a few hours before my train back to Prague so it was time to get a very fully bell. After all, I did have a now 4 hour old half eaten sandwich in my pocket and I did not wan that to go to waste.

The place was hopping and we found a few bar stools and the bartender just pointed at the tap, she knew. Everyone was friendly (afternoon drunk) in the pub and the atmosphere was relaxed so it was easy to knock back more that I needed to. John was cool to hang with for a couple of hours and time flashed by. A quick look up at the clock on the wall behind the bar and I did a big gulp, ran to the washroom, and paid my bill all in one smooth motion. I had 20 minutes to make my train. I said "good-bye, see you never" , something that a former Aussie teacher in Mexico said to me and I thought it was brilliant. I went off with a smile knowing I was not the first foreigner to be half soaked from this beer tour who was now rushing from this particular pub to catch a train back to Prague. Earbuds in and the journey back was uneventful but the sandwich was spectacular.

The Beer Experience in Prague was a completely different animal, but the end results were the same. This was a self guided tour with headphones in which you walked through a well produced and sometimes very funny interactive multimedia experience about the history of brewing beer in Czechia.

The best part included a very details dramatization of the Beer Rebellion of 1838, where the citizens of Pilsner spilled out 36 barrels of beer in front of the town hall in protest of the poor quality of the beer that they have been subjected to when they knew there was better quality being drank from the Nobility and political establishment. (Surprise surprise). Well done citizens of Pilsen.

Half way through we entered a bar and had our first tasting with more information from a bartender from Canada of all places. I was mixed in with 10 others, mostly Indian who could care less about what they were doing, they just wanted to do it. We went through the final part of the tour and were happily given tokens for two large pints in the beer garden, so off I went.

The modern day beer tour experience

Seeing as it was a beauty of a day I had a few pints in the Brewery pub on out front on the main street. There were more than one group of young British lads who were in Prague for a stag party or some other reason. I chatted with one of the groups who immediately invited me along, that itself gave me reason to pause. I mean they were talking unlimited beer, drugs, hookers and madness after they went to the Irish pub to watch the football match, I think it was Arsenal. Our "game plans" did not jive, even the slightest. I made a few more random stops along the way in various pubs and bars in the Old Town. For a rip off place like Prague, the beer was actually a reasonable and manageable, $5 for a half litre of Pilsen.

Now my fun and game started. It was no drugs, hooker and madness and in the end that might have been the wiser choice. In my elated mood I decide that a walk back was just what I needed. The sun was shining, I was a bit soaked yet again and a bit of exercise is just what I needed. Plus I could stop at the park along they way home for a refresher and a final view of Prague. Now there is a major problem when drinking and walking in Europe. There are NO alleyways to slip into, or they are very rare because I did not find one.

No more drinking and walking for me

You know exactly what I am talking about. I did have a solution, which may sound great in theory but it compounded the issue. I just had to find another pub along the way and use their toilet. That also required having another beer, which means walking and needing an alleyway, which requires stopping at another pub and having another beer.

The circle of beer life is very real.